Pesto, ham, roasted red pepper, and tomato pizza

I guess you could say that I felt like favoring the red portion of the color wheel with this pizza. And also, Boar's Head Honey Maple Ham was on sale at the deli counter. Regardless, the reds, pinks, and purples were among my choices for today's pizza pie!

Pizza toppings:

• 1/4 - 1/3 cup pesto sauce
• 1 - 2 cups pizza sauce
• 1 red onion
• 5 or 6 slices of ham
• 6 oz. jar of marinated roasted red bell peppers
• 1 or 2 roma tomatoes
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella

Okay, I wasn't planning on it but I added bacon too. While I was attempting my online yoga video in the morning my spouse was over in the kitchen making bacon, eggs and toast. He offered to make some for me, and since I'm "so healthy" I said no and got back to my yoga. Okay hold it right there - have you ever tried to do yoga while smelling bacon? My name should appear in some world record book for achieving that. Trying to find my chi when all I could sense on every deep inhale was sizzling bacon...dear God it was torture.

Well, my husband even made extra bacon thinking that I would cave and come stuff my face with the fatty delightful stuff. Somehow, I actually resisted this one time. He conceded that I wasn't going to succumb to the heavenly scent of cooked pig and put the two deserted leftover pieces of bacon into the fridge. And that's where I found them about 5 minutes later and decided that today would be a great day to take a break from said "healthy" practices.

Instructions:

• Place the pizza stone in the oven and preheat to 500 degrees. I like to let it sit in there for a few minutes after it's reached 500, just to be sure it's thoroughly good and toasty.
• Chop the red onion into medium/small bits, and sauté that in a touch of olive oil in a skillet. 
• Cut the slices of ham into smaller pieces. I prefer ham pieces that are cut into squares about 2"x2" so they're not too tiny. Actually that's sort of big. 
• Slice the tomatoes into rounds.
• When everything in the oven is nice and hot, carefully take the stone out and place it onto your work surface. Place your rolled out dough for the crust on top of that.
• Spread the pesto on first, evenly, all the way to the edge. Okay, I like to spread the toppings out as far as possible, but if you want a little edge to hold onto while eating the za, then leave half an inch or so.
• Spread the sauce on next, evening it out with the back of a spoon. 
• Sprinkle on the rest of the toppings - sautéed onions, bacon, ham, peppers, tomatoes, then cheese on top. 
• Carefully place that all back into the oven, and leave it there for 10-12 minutes. I actually cooked this pie for 13 minutes because the water content was pretty high from all those veggies. 

The pesto layer. Careful, that stone is HOT!

Whatever sort of pesto that was that I used (something in a jar from the store) was  pretty good, but not fantastic. Next time I go pesto shopping I'll probably just pass on by that brand and try another one. Still, it added some tasty flavor, but overall it didn't taste super tasty, like you'd normally expect from a pesto sauce.  

Za, are you ready for your close-up?

The mistake I think I made on this pizza was using too many of the roasted red peppers. Actually, I used an entire 12 ounce jar. The flavor they added was great, but since I used jarred ones they were very water-filled and added extra moisture to the pizza. Next time I'll definitely use less if they come from a jar, or I'll just get a fresh bell pepper and roast or sauté it myself.

The tomatoes also added extra moisture to the za. If I hadn't been rushing to slice and toss them on there, I would have let them sit on a paper towel for a few minutes after slicing to wick away some of the water. 

Oh, all these pizza mishaps! It was still very good and will be even better when I re-heat the leftover slices in the toaster oven. Yup, the toaster oven. Or you can use the big oven if you don't have a toaster oven. Pizza re-heated in the microwave is just soggy and the crust turns tough. Keep the crust crispy by heating it back up in the oven.

Ouch

I started writing a new post for an incredible running and core workout on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday I fell and did this.

Sprained it. Luckily it was not a horrible sprain. I endured one a few years ago where my whole lower leg turned purple and red, and my foot was so swollen I couldn't even wear a flip flop on it. 

It always feels so stupid to fall while running too. It's usually just from tripping over a rock or a root, or stepping into a small hole. In my case, it was reaching down to brush a dead bug off my knee. 

So now I'm down with the ol' RICE method (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) until it feels better. 

And there she is out of the cold wrap. All bulbous and swollen. 

This really makes me mad at ankles. And weak joints in general. Without getting too technical on the joints and ligaments here, the ligament on the outside of the ankle is weaker than the one on the inside, yet, we are so much more likely to roll our ankles inward and cause damage to those slightly weaker parts. Why the heck can't those two just be switched around??! We need more strength on the outside than the inside...it makes no sense!

Well as much as I vent about that topic I know it's never going to change. 

So I'll be taking a week, maybe two, off from the cardio, and that makes me very sad inside. One of my passions has ben taken away from me temporarily! Ugh. I guess I'll live.

But I will still be making pizzas, and certainly posting that running and core workout that I mentioned!

Quick Mini Greek Pizza

Really the only reason for this pizza being "quick" was because I already had some prepared dough on hand for the crust. Start to finish, the thing took about 25 minutes to make. Not bad when I consider this a gourmet weekend lunchtime meal. I know, I'm so fancy.

Toppings you'll need:

• About 1 cup pizza sauce
• 1 6-oz jar of marinated artichoke hearts
• 1/3 cup sliced black olives (or other olives of your preference)
• 1/2 cup chopped chicken, cooked
• A handful of spinach, roughly chopped
• 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
• 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

Typically I'm not a fan of olives on or around my food. But I'm finding that in the right quantities and with the right flavor combinations, they're not half bad. I happened to have this can of olives on hand, which partially led to the "Greek" pizza flavor decision. And it was a good decision. Since I usually also have artichoke hearts, feta cheese, and spinach in the house too, making foods with Greek flavors is an easy go-to for me.

When it comes to artichoke hearts, I can never get enough. I just love those little things. I've made many dishes with that food item including pastas, stuffed mushrooms, dips, casseroles and salads of many varieties, and of course, pizza. They add a nice hearty texture without feeling too heavy. If you're unfamiliar with artichoke hearts, you can find them in the grocery store in the aisle where you pick up your canned vegetables. I know, you can buy them fresh too and cook/marinate them yourself. But I'm a lazy cook and that is just too much of a time-consuming task for me.

How to make it:

• As always, pizza stone goes into a cold oven. Turn the temperature to 500 degrees and get the stone good and hot.
• Roll out the dough, and when the stone is hot enough, take it out of the oven and place the dough on top of that.
• Next, spread on the sauce.
• Sprinkle the toppings on top of that, distributing evenly. Chicken, artichokes, olives, spinach, mozzarella, then feta. 
• Carefully place that all in the oven, turn the timer on for 10-12 minutes, and find something to occupy your mind in the meantime. 

I spent that time making one very unimpressive salad. Just greens, carrots, sunflower seeds and some Greek vinaigrette dressing that I thought would nicely compliment the za. It did in fact go very well together. I'm repeatedly let down by salads served at pizza restaurants. I know the point of a pizza restaurant is not to make a good salad, it is to make a great pizza. But when I see that a salad is priced around $5 at a pizza place, I'd really like more than some week-old bagged lettuce with a package of Club crackers. 

I didn't season this pizza any more after it came out of the oven. However, I do believe that adding some black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes, or a drizzle of balsamic vinegar would liven up these slices. Up to you though how much you want to get pizza crazy. 

All in all, this lunch was tasty and satisfying. Definitely has those flavors I love and will return to again. Who knows, perhaps I'll spend more time one evening and step it up to make a gourmet Greek pizza dinner! Only time will tell. 

Spicy Mexican Pizza

Here is one pizza that is hard to get a picture of. One second it's there and the next, well who knows. We could call it Houdini pizza because it can just disappear in the blink of an eye. But if you're lucky enough to grab a slice before the whole thing goes then you will see why this za can't stay around too long. 

We had our friend Matt over to enjoy this za with us. I made the crust in kind of a rush this time, so I was really hoping that it would turn out nearly as good as always. I took a bite and instantly loved what I had created. Matt took his first bite and made some sort of noise - a gasp maybe? I wondered if that was actually a gasp of horror and was expecting him to come up with some half-hearted compliment saying how the pizza was "alright." But to my surprise, he was actually quite impressed with the food, as was my spouse. Phew! It was a gasp of satisfaction. No need to come up with some excuse of my own to try and pardon my shoddy cooking skills. Mexican pizza = success.  

You know you can never go wrong with Mexican. It's always great, or at least good. I mean, you'd have to be really anti-USA if you can say no to chips, salsa, and a cold margarita. It's hard to get tired of Chipotle, Moe's or other burrito joints. And places that host taco Tuesdays? I'll be in line. So why not bring those flavorful delights to a homemade za? And did I mention that this pizza goes very well with a margarita? Can't say that for too many other traditionally Italian dishes. 

I made mine using some rotisserie chicken as a topping. I know, you are thinking that rotisserie chicken has no business being on a Mexican-themed pizza. Well, I cooked the chicken myself using a recipe for a spice blend that is in fact quite spicy. You can find that recipe here. Or you can just be lazy and get some other chicken cooked elsewhere.

I have yet to convince my husband that it is possible to make a rotisserie chicken in the crock pot at home. Just because you see them being cooked on a spinning stick behind the meat counter does not make it a rotisserie chicken...it is the spice blend that makes it taste that way. When we were engaged, he wanted to put a rotisserie cooker on our wedding registry. Knowing that he is a lover of kitchen gadgets that never get used (um, we've currently got 3 crock pots, a rice cooker, a griddle, 2 blenders, 2 George Foreman grills, coffee pot, coffee grinder, toaster oven, I'll stop there) I had to draw the line. But it was not just that easy for him to give up the dream of seeing a chicken "rotiss" in his own kitchen. (Definition of the word rotiss: the act of a chicken cooking on a rotisserie.) Anyway, I cooked the chicken in the crock pot. We still don't have a rotisserie cooker. And we're doing just fine that way. 

The real hero of this pizza just may be the Boar's Head 3-Pepper Colby Jack cheese. It is spicy. It is savory. It is magnificent. Regular Colby cheese won't do and neither will jalapeño cheese. Go to your deli counter and get 6 slices of this for your za right now. And maybe a couple extra to enjoy at another time, because if you like spicy, you will regret it if you don't. 

Ingredients:

• 1 pizza crust
• 1 to 1 1/2 cups pizza sauce
• 1/3 to 1/2 cup hot salsa (mild or medium if you're a wimp)
• 1 cup chopped rotisserie chicken
• 1 large bell pepper
• 6 slices Boar's Head 3-Pepper Colby Jack Cheese, chopped into small pieces

Method:

• Get that za stone into the oven and crank it to 500 degrees. 
• Chop your bell pepper into small pieces and sauté it with a little olive oil until the pieces are soft and beginning to brown. I used a yellow bell pepper because that was the only option that looked good at the store at the time. I would have preferred red if those had looked healthy on the shelf, but I thought I might turn into a zombie upon ingesting that selection of bell peppers.
• When the stone is good and hot, place it on some hot pads on the counter and place the crust on top. 
• Next, spread the salsa on followed by the sauce. You can use a greater salsa to sauce ratio if you please, but I do enjoy the sauciness of pizza sauce, and I don't want the za to taste completely like a taco.
• Top with chicken, peppers, and cheese.
• Back into the oven it goes for 10-12 minutes.
• Take it out, let it cool for 10 minutes more. 
• Eat up until you pop. You earned it, you pizza maker, you.

 

You Can Do Whatever You Like

I like to read interesting books at night before bed. Unfortunately, this sometimes keeps me up so late that I refuse to wake up an hour early in the morning to do my workout. What am I supposed to do? I know the obvious answer: read late because being mentally present the next day is not really important.

Okay, kidding. This is what I did...I planned ahead for next time. After sleeping through a workout one fine morning, later that day I decided to plan out a workout that I would do the next morning. There is no way I could write out plans like this the morning of. The brain is still dreaming of sugarplums when my alarm goes off, so that's why the morning "workout" tends to be just running. 

Aren't my nails just precious looking? That's lavender polish with two (yes, two!) golden-flecked accent nails. 

So here's the gist of the workout: it was hard.

Yes, many of my workouts are hard. But since this one combined lots of intervals with some intense running, it really stacked up the intensity level overall. Not the hardest workout I've ever done, but it was a great one nonetheless.

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of this workout was the "fast run x 5 min" portion. After doing all the calisthenics, burpees, and jump roping, the leg muscles and bones just want a break. But you cannot give them one! You must run as fast as you can for 5 minutes. Yeah, that sucks, and I'm a workout nazi. But that's what will truly make you stronger, faster, fitter and leaner - pushing through that pain and fatigue just when you feel like it's almost too much to handle.

You can do this workout in a gym and use a treadmill for the running portions if you please, but I created the workout based on the roads and paths around my neighborhood. My warm-up/cool-down route takes me about 8 minutes to jog, and I can complete a different, shorter route in about 5 minutes when I run fast (or about 6 when I'm getting exhausted).

As you can see, at the bottom of the workout, I predicted that if you repeat the "circuit" portion 4 times, then it will take about an hour to get through the whole workout. If you repeat it 3 times, you can complete the workout in about 50 minutes. Basically, I estimated that each section of the workout would take 10 minutes. That was a gross underestimation. Unless you're going to use an interval timer to keep yourself on track, allow about 12-13 minutes for the "circuit" here each time you do it.

So that part where it says "repeat 4x"? Yeah, that ended up being 2 times for me! I really wanted to do the circuit 4 times in an hour, and maybe that can be a goal of mine this summer for this workout. Basically by the time I had finished the circuit twice I was already at about the 45-minute mark for my entire workout. And as much as I would have loved to play hooky from work and just keep on exercising in my garage, I knew I had to cool down and go take a shower eventually. So I finished up that second circuit, did about 7 minutes of core exercises, completed my cool-down jog, and then called it quits.

So basically, you can do whatever you like on this little ol' workout. It will be a lot of work anyway around it. If you're even more of a workout freak than I am, repeat that circuit 5 or 6 times!

Also, you might be looking at what I wrote down for my workout and thinking, she did 8 push-ups and 16 crunches. She is not a workout freak...she's kind of wimpy. Oh no, friends. If you're doing these things slow enough and with the right form, you should feel the burn after about this many reps. That's right...slow down your workout to make it a better one. Except for the running part or any true carido - that's meant to be fast. But if you're truly conditioned and 4 or 5 rounds of squats, push-ups, rows, burpees, and ab exercises makes you feel like you did nothing more than blow out a candle, by all means - add a few reps to each set. You can do whatever you like. You know that.

Veggie & Herb Pizza

I've been on a real fruit and veggie kick this week. Now if you know me, you probably know that I eat a lot of these foods a lot of the time. But this week my husband is out of town, off doing military things, so I've really taken the opportunity to up my raw and cooked veggie intake. Not that he doesn't eat these things...he'll eat basically anything I put in front of him, given, most of the things I put in front of him are quite tasty. But a life without meats would not be a life he would enjoy living.

So anyway, I started the week trying to do only fruits and veggies. It was all spinach, avocados, lentils, onions, tomatoes, bananas, grapes, plain almonds, and more. I'm pretty good at making a green smoothie, so that was a staple. Then when it came to beans and dinnertime foods I used spices to make them taste edible. Basically what I cut out was dairy, meat, and alcohol. That was all going surprisingly well, but I had some chicken breast, milk, and homemade bread in the fridge, and I didn't want to ignore those until they became rotten. Hence, my complete fruit and vegetable binge ended after about 2 days. And honestly, I think that was just the perfect time for that sort of thing. 

I'm not one to do those extreme diets. Actually, I'm very against any fad that tells you to eliminate one or more major food group. If you can't maintain eating patterns like that for a lifetime, then chances are it's a fad diet and you should avoid it. 

But no matter what you do, you can't go wrong with more veggies in your diet. They are just so good for you and the greater variety you get (both in type and color), the better. They've got tons of vitamins and minerals - most of which will not be destroyed during cooking - that help with growth, development, and repair. Your mom told you to eat your veggies after all, didn't she? She was onto something. 

So instead of going and bingeing on meats and cheeses at the end of the week to mourn my brief separation from these foods earlier in the week, I made a pizza covered in summer veggies. And some cheese too.

Ingredients needed for the topping:

• 1 shallot
• 1 zucchini 
• 1 yellow squash
• A handful of bell peppers. I used red, yellow, and orange ones.

I was considering doing a cheese-less pizza here, but then I remembered a time when I actually ordered a cheese-less pizza at a restaurant in Atlanta and I remembered that I didn't like it.

Cheeses I used on this one:

• 1/2 cup shredded asiago 
• 1/2 cup shredded parmesan
• 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella

Now keep in mind, those are some very flavorful (read, strong and pungent-smelling) cheeses. Especially the asiago. Adjust to your taste preferences. 

So here's the prep method:

• Toss about 2 tbsp. olive oil into a skillet. I love my iron skillet. I love it so much, in fact, I never put it away. It's always on my stovetop just waiting to make food yummy. So heat that oil, finely chop your shallot, and sauté it for a few minutes.
• In the meantime, slice the rest of your veggies. You don't have to stick to the ones that I did...I think other delightful picks for this za would include mushrooms, asparagus, spinach, and tomatoes. 
• Now add a few herbs of your choosing to the pan. I used a little thyme, allspice, and cayenne pepper. I'd also suggest rosemary, garlic, sage, cumin, black pepper, and basil - in any amount or quantity that you prefer.
• Top it all onto your dough (which should have sauce on it and be sitting on a hot pizza stone). Add veggies, then sprinkle on the cheeses and bake it for about 10 minutes.

My dough was a little bit thick this time, so it took about 12 minutes in my oven. I could tell it was done when the cheese was bubbly and the veggies were slightly charred. 

The only thing I would have done differently next time is add more veggies! I did put a lot on there, but then again, the pizza itself was quite large. I wanted to "play it safe" because I have prepped too many toppings for pizzas in the past and I did not want to have leftovers...after all, my human garbage-disposer husband is out of town. But I regret that now, because I could have easily chopped up all of both types of squash and added another handful of bell peppers and it would have been great. Oh well, we learn these things as we go!

I sprinkled a little red pepper flakes over the top and then drizzled my slice in balsamic vinegar. Very flavorful. Probably even a little too much with the balsamic, but still really good.

And I was such a rebel while eating it too - I ate in front of the TV!! *Gasp!!*

Shotgun Road

I'm not sure if the road is actually called "Shotgun Road" because I've never seen a sign. But it could also be called "Hunger Games Road," "You Might Die Here Today Road," or "Snakes and Animal Feces Road." During hunting season the hunters go out to the smaller off-shooting roads of this route and kill animals. That being said, I don't actually know when hunting season is, all I know is that I hear gunshots on this route sometimes and that I better wear something bright so I'm not mistaken for a deer.

So why do I run on this fear-inducing, life-threatening path, you ask? Well, it's a reasonable distance, it's almost completely in the shade, it's not paved (nicer for my little knee caps and hip joints), and it twists and turns nearly the whole way (not a boring straight route). And I like to live on the edge and stare at death in the face. Plus, what if the Hunger Games actually becomes a real thing? This road has me prepared. There are so many insects flying into my nostrils and eyes, plenty of dust to clog my lungs, and enough hidden snakes to keep me on my toes for the entire distance. But if I ever leave for a run and don't come back, this is the place you'll most likely find my body. 

It was a hot one out there for this morning run. It was one of those days where a headwind in your face is plenty welcome even though it may slow you down (read, make you a stronger runner) at times. Even if the breeze is warm, it's a sure relief from hot, stagnant air. 

I surprised myself by my 8:04 min/mile pace today. I definitely thought I was slower than that when I was out there and I'll probably go and double check on that distance at some point. But then again, I had a fine pizza yesterday that offered plenty of carbs to fuel my muscles through this one. And I had coffee this morning before the run. Caffeine is a surefire aid in any workout. 

Overall I must say, it sure feels great to be done with a workout before 10:00am. Before 9:00am would be even better. My best advice for a morning workout on a hot summer's day?

• Sunblock. SPF 30. Waterproof.
• Coffee or other caffeine. 
• iPod with tunes to keep you moving. For me that's Pitbull, Kanye, Foo Fighters, and a little Vanilla Ice (ice, baby). 
• Wake yourself up just a little bit. I hate running or exercising when I feel like I'm actually still asleep. So give your body about 30-45 min to be aware that it's up and it's limbs are moving. 
• Then just go out there and begin before your body and mind get together and tell you it's not a good idea, because it is. 

Play Dough

The homemade crust is arguably the sole determining factor in the deliciousness level of a pizza. Even if you've never had homemade, just think of the crust qualities in frozen pizza brands. DiGiorno and Freschetta have respectable foundations. Red Baron and Tombstone generally taste like cardboard. California Pizza Kitchen varieties are usually quite good, but mostly I prefer them for the toppings. Or think of delivery pizzas...they taste alright I guess, for a grease-soaked sponge. You can usually tell they're mass produced and previously frozen. And you can't really ever know what's in them or how long they've been around before they reach your plate.

This is why you must make your own crust. After you have a homemade pizza crust, no manufactured brand can even compare. I know, you say, but it takes too long! or, I don't have the patience/skills/time/ingredients/fill in the blank. Shut up, please. You do have these things. And if you think you don't have the exact thing you need, you can improvise with something similar. And most importantly, once you have a tasty homemade crust, you will not even want to bother with pizzas that are not boutique bistro-level quality. Your pizza bar will be majorly raised and your eyes will be opened to the infinite possibilities in the pizza world. Stay with me now...

To be honest, I have not tried too many homemade pizza dough recipes. I found one that I liked and I stuck with it. Since then, I've altered the recipe a bit on my own by using different types of flour, different amounts of yeast, and various spices.

This recipe makes a medium-thickness crust with a little chewiness. Definitely not a crispy thin crust. However, you could use only about half of the dough, roll it thin, and you will have a slightly thinner, slightly crispier crust. And two potential pizzas. Both ways are good.

Here's what you'll need:

• 3/4 cup warm water (just warm to the touch)
• 2-3 tsp. yeast
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2 tbsp safflower oil or olive oil
• About 1 cup all-purpose flour
• About 1 cup wheat flour
• Something to do for the next 1-2 hours

Here's what you should do:

• In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the water, yeast, and honey. Whisk it up. Let it sit for 5-10 minutes so the yeast dissolves and the mixture looks kind of creamy/frothy.
• Toss in the oil, salt, and about 1 cup of flour. Either white or wheat is fine. 
• Let all that stuff mingle together for about one minute in the mixer with the hook attachment and the speed on low. Scrape down the sides a little bit, then turn the mixer back on.
• From here on out, add 2-4 tablespoons of flour at a time. You may need slightly more or less than the 2 cups this recipe recommends; the goal is to have a soft dough that sticks to the bottom of the mixing bowl but pulls away from the sides. Keep your eye on it while it's mixing and add your flour in increments. 
• If you are really against the half-white, half-wheat thing, then please, just use whatever flour you like. But be warned - using all wheat flour creates a tougher dough that's harder to work with, doesn't rise as much, and is less tender than the white/wheat mix or all white flour. 
• You can also add spices if you'd like to make your dough a little more exciting. For this dough, I used rosemary and garlic powder. I've also done crusts using crushed red pepper flakes, herbs de Provence, onion powder, oregano, and basil. Just choose what you prefer or something that will compliment the future pizza's toppings.
• Once your dough reaches that soft consistency, continue to let it mix for another 2-3 minutes.
• Remove the dough from the mixer. Place it in an oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let it sit there and rise for 1-2 hours, or until it's about double in size.

I always use regular yeast, not the rapid-rise kind. I don't know why I've never experimented with it. I may have some fear that there is going to be some sort of volcanic explosion in my kitchen. However, I've met people who use rapid-rise, and they did not indicate any explosions.

Also, you don't necessarily have to use honey. Yeast needs sugar to grow, so really any type will do. I've used white sugar, brown sugar, and rice syrup for this recipe before and they're all very good. But it's my favorite with honey. I know this recipe calls for 1/4 cup of honey, and to me that sort of seems like a lot. Which is why I never measure it out. I just drizzle out what's probably a couple of tablespoons of honey into the mixing bowl and call it a day. 

This is what "creamy/frothy" looks like. Kind of gross actually, but you'll know it when you see it.

Spinning dough and spices patiently waiting to add deliciousness to this dough in progress. 

Spinning dough! It smells of garlic and rosemary. And so will I for the next two days. But it does not even matter. It is worth it. 

And there it sits. Just waiting to rise and become the best pizza of your life. 

When you're ready to make it into a real crust, lightly flour your work surface (preferably, this should be a countertop). You may want to flour your fingertips a bit too so you don't end up with dough hands. Grab the dough out of the bowl where it is certainly much larger in size now. Knead it a few times by folding it over it self and flattening it out. Then roll it out to an even thickness and cut off any excess so that it becomes just slightly smaller than your pizza stone. 

Unfortunately, I have not mastered the skill of tossing pizza dough into the air, catching it, and ending up with a perfect pizza round a few minutes later. Actually, I have not even tried. But go for it if you dare. I'm not risking dropping this dough gold. After over an hour of prepping and waiting and still not even having a pizza to show for it, it is not worth the risk of ending up on the floor to me!

The Climb

Okay, climbing may not be true cardio, but it is an incredible workout and much more exciting than your average daily run, so I thought it blog-worthy.

Now I'm not a climber by any means. I don't know any fancy climbing lingo and I usually need help making the knots. I've done this just a few times in my life so far, and only recreationally at that. Last time I did this my fingers, wrists, and arms were so sore for so may days I was barely able to use a pen effectively!

But nonetheless, I'm lucky to have a rock climbing wall near my small town to begin with.

Although the climb was painful I'm glad I have my friend, Farrah,  that will "suggest" it to the point where I actually think I want to go. That sounds bad. I had fun and I did feel like it was a major accomplishment, even though this was not nearly the tallest climbing wall I've ever seen.

Well, there she goes. Showing me how to go all spider monkey. 

Guess I better do up this knot now, temporarily forgetting just how much this workout is going to make me sweat. And hurt. And feel very, very defeated at some points. 

That is one comically long arm I've got.

There are 4 courses at this place, 1 being the easiest and 4 being the hardest. Last time I climbed, I got to the top of walls 1, 2, and 3, although I may have slightly cheated assisted myself on an adjacent wall while climbing number 3. So the goal for today was to own wall number 4. 

 

And about 30 minutes and just enough assistance later, I finally did. Which for me, that means I actually accomplished 2 goals with this climb...making it to the top of wall 4 and not chipping off any nail polish! I know, it sounds ridiculous. I just really like well-kept, non-chipped nails for myself. And winning. 

But on that last picture, I'm actually on wall 2 again. I thought it would be "fun" and "easy" since I've done the harder walls already. Not quite so. The strength left in my wrists and fingers was minimal and it felt nearly as hard as wall 4 by the time I was only half of the way up. 

I guess for this activity, you've just got to hang on, literally. If you missed your footing once, try it again or try a new path. You may slip, but you're not going to end back up where you started, they won't let that happen to you. 

That sounded so philosophical, so I'll stop there. 

30-minute gym workout

I just hate that when I hear someone say that they "worked out for like 2 hours!" Bitch, please. You went to the gym, changed your clothes, walked on a treadmill for 10 minutes, lifted a couple of heavy things, took 20 water breaks, 30 minutes to stretch, and another 15 in the locker room after that. You did not exercise for 2 hours. If everyone who said they worked out for a solid 2 hours actually did it, I think we would have many more fit people in this country than we actually do.

Oh, and also, you don't have to work out for 2 hours a day to be in shape.

Hence, I give you the 30-minute gym workout. That doesn't include a major warm-up, cool-down, or any stretching, but you'll definitely be out of that gym in under 45 minutes. And it's an awesome workout because it involves my favorite...interval training! The whole time, it's all intervals!

Part 1: 15 minutes on the elliptical
First, scope out an elliptical with arms. That is, you will work your upper body at the same time as your lower body. Doing cardio with your upper body (exercises such as swimming, rowing, and ellipti-cising??) gets your heart rate up much more quickly than a lower-body focused workout (running, stair-climbing, biking, elliptical without arms) because for most people, the muscles in your upper body aren't conditioned for this kind of hard work. Even if you're quite conditioned, using upper body for cardio is still a lot of work and can really ramp up the intensity level (read, calorie burn) in your workout.

So here's how the elliptical interval workout goes, minute by minute. By the way, if you can program your elliptical switch between intensity levels during your workout, this will be much easier. The elliptical machines at my gym don't have this feature, so I just have to pay attention to the time and do everything manually.

0:00-2:59. Warm up, easy/moderate pace. Play around with the intensity/resistance level on the machine to see how much you can handle. My elliptical goes to 25, and my warm-up is usually between 8-12.

3:00-4:59. Time to get intense. Turn up the resistance so much that you can barely handle it. For me, this is at a 17. Go, go, go. 2 minutes of hard work!

5:00-5:59. Recovery. Easy pace. Can be the same as your warm-up. I set the machine between 8-10 normally for this. Also during this time, switch the direction which your pedaling.

6:00-7:59. Ramp up that resistance to what you were doing before. Try your best to go the entire 2 minutes without lowering the resistance. Also try and maintain your same speed (speed, on an elliptical, can be measured by the RPM's on the display). Go, go, go! Use your arms too!

8:00-8:59. Recovery. And switch the direction you're pedaling. You've probably noticed by now that it's easier for you to pedal in one direction than the other. Avoid doing the "easy" one for the remainder of the workout.

9:00-10:59. Up with the resistance! You're close to being done with this workout. Maintain the speed you've been doing, or try to go a little bit faster. If you must lower the resistance slightly during any of the high-intensity intervals only do so after you're sure you cannot go any further, and even then, maintain your speed. Don't reduce your resistance and your pace!

11:00-11:59. Recover. Switch direction of pedaling. You're almost done.

12:00-13:59. Final intense interval! Absolutely try to push yourself in these last 2 tough minutes. Arms, legs, breathe, speed...all of it!

14:00-15:00. Recover/cool down. I know, it's only one minute, not much of a cool down. But that's okay. The workout is halfway over, and your body will be warm for the remainder of it.

Don't take too long of a break. Grab some water, catch your breath, and head on over to an open space or open group exercise studio. If there's no class going on, you can usually go ahead into an empty studio and use it to work out on your own.

Part 2: 15 minutes in the Studio
Or slightly open area/floor space that your gym offers.
Equipment needed: Jump rope, 2 hand weights (5-10 lbs each),  6-12" step (like the kind they use in step classes), mat.
If you don't have these pieces of equipment, do not throw a fit and give up on me. I'll give equipment-free alternatives.

How it works: 
There are 5 exercises. Start each on a 1-minute interval cycle. You might finish the exercise before the minute is up, so that time is meant just for a little recovery. If you don't think you want to spend all those seconds recovering and catching your breath, you can start the next exercise earlier, hence, finishing this part of the workout in under 15 minutes. Repeat this 5-exercise cycle 3 times.

1. 1 minute. Jump rope.
2. 30 seconds. Crossover mountain climbers (like a regular mountain climber, but when your knees come up, cross them over towards the shoulder on the opposite side of your body. If this doesn't make sense to you, just do regular mountain climbers.)
3. Bicycle crunches, very slow pace, 16 reps (so 8 per side)
4. 45 seconds. Lateral (that's side-to-side) hops over the top of the step. Go fast, reach for the floor when you land on either side. 
5. Plank rows. You're in push-up position with a weight under each hand. Row your arms, one at a time, leading with your elbow. Slowly lower the weight back down and alternate sides. Do 12 reps (6 per side).

Alternative, no-equipment option:

1. 1 minute. Jumping jacks.
2. 30 seconds. Crossover mountain climbers. Thought you were getting out of that one, did you??
3. 50 second plank. It would be nice to have a mat for this. At the very least, maybe a little towel under your forearms.
4. 45 seconds speed skater jumps. There are some variations of this exercise. Do the one that feels very difficult for you to complete in 45 seconds.
5. 15 push-ups. 

For a cool down, you can walk/light jog on the treadmill for 5 minutes or pedal lightly on a stationary bike for this amount of time. If you live super close to your gym, like I do, you can just jog to and from the place and your warm-up and cool-down are taken care of. On that note, if you do warm-up before you even get to the gym or if you do so on a piece of equipment other than the elliptical, then you can just jump right into the elliptical intervals instead of spending the first 3 minutes warming up on there.

I'd recommend stretching when your're done as well. This workout is very core-focused but works shoulders, quads, hamstrings, glutes, abs, back, and triceps, so focus on those for stretching. And gulp some ounces of water too.

Buffalo Chicken, Bacon & Ranch Pizza

This pizza is the ultimate crowd-pleaser, man-pleaser, comfort food, and the all-time top pick for the husband. It is just so good. Normally I make a pizza that extends completely to the edge of my pizza stone, but I was using some leftover dough from some pizzas last week that I kept in the fridge and I simply did not have enough. Luckily it was enough to feed two fat-kid-at-heart adults, but if you're serving more than that, make a larger za. Or make two.

Oh, by the way, I sometimes call pizza "za." It's much easier for lazy people to say. And (on Words With Friends) it's an actual word. Win. 

Truly, I think this is the ingredient that can take any dish to the next level...

Yes, there's no denying it. Bacon is a gift, a glorious gift, sent from Jesus H. Christ to show us that there are good things in this cruel, cold world. Do not omit this ingredient from the recipe. You will be sad, depressed, and get an embarrassing rash if you do. If you are a vegetarian, I'm sorry...this pizza is not for you. 

I also used a variety of cheeses to make this tasty fellow. Mozzarella is always a good go-to cheese for pizza. It's mild flavor allows the flavors of other ingredients to really stand out. Other cheeses can compliment other ingredients as well. Once I used monetary jack on a Mexican pizza and it was incredible alongside the spicy chicken, salsa, and roasted peppers on that za. On this one I used some mozzarella, some provolone, and a touch of gouda. If you don't want to get fancy with cheeses, or if you have some other cheese preferences, by all means, use those. 

The recipe (which you can adjust amounts of ingredients based on your taste preferences):

• Homemade pizza dough
• 1-2 cups pizza sauce
• 1/3 - 1/2 cup your favorite buffalo wing sauce
• 1 red onion
• 1 chicken breast
• 6-7 slices of bacon
• 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
• 1/4 cup shredded or sliced provolone
• Gouda, enough to your liking (I used about 2 slices from a package)
• Ranch dressing, any variety 

Place your pizza stone in a cold oven. Turn the temperature to 500 degrees F.

On a lightly floured surface, roll out your pizza dough into a circle. Or whatever shape your pizza stone is. You can sprinkle a little cornmeal on top of that, but I find it doesn't make much difference.

Cook the bacon until it's crispy. I usually do mine in the oven on a baking sheet because it contains the mess, but if you're a stove-top bacon fryer, go for it. Place the cooked bacon on paper towels, and drain it of the extra grease. Then chop it up into little bits. I know you're going to want to eat some of this bacon now. You must resist. Believe me, the pizza will be that much more satisfying if you do. 

Dice your onion and sauté in a little bit of oil. Sure, you can use a white or yellow onion, but I prefer colorful things. Plus the red onions make me cry less than other ones.

Dice your chicken and cook that up as well. Any cooking method for this is fine. Pan-fry, oven, crock pot (although that one will take a while), but it's up to you. 

Once your pizza stone is nice and hot, carefully take it out of the oven and place it on something that can handle a 500-degree object. Hot pads do a good job of this. Transfer the pizza dough (corn meal side down) onto the hot stone. Try to do this step quickly and don't mess with it too much. The dough may get a little mis-shapen or tear, so just sort of touch it up, but don't spend too much time on that. The stone is freaking hot and will immediately start cooking the dough into a beautiful crust. Or it will immediately start cooking your hands into an ugly crisp. No one wants crispy hands. 

Pour about half of the buffalo wing sauce onto the dough and spread it around using the back of a spoon. Next, pour on all of the pizza sauce. Spread it around evenly using the back of a spoon.

The dough may start to "bubble" a bit. This is fine. You can ignore it or you can pop some bubbles. Up to you.

Sprinkle the cooked chicken and onions on there next. Then the mozzarella, provolone, and gouda. 

Bacon goes on top. 

Pop that into the oven, set your timer for 9-10 minutes. When the timer goes off, drizzle the remaining wing sauce on top of the cooked pizza. Keep it in the oven for another 1-2 minutes. 

When it's totally done, let it sit and cool off. It is very hot, believe me. Since I want you to have the best experience possible with this incredible za, you must wait. God forbid you should burn your tongue or throat and blame me. I can't have that on me!

After about 10-15 minutes of cooling, cut this bad boy up. Then go get some ranch out of your fridge or wherever you keep it. I know people that put ranch on the side, but in true fat-kid fashion, I have generously poured ranch all over the top of my slice. Actually, this was my second slice, hence the messy plate and almost finished second glass of wine. And also, I'm not a real food photographer, or a photographer by any means. I'm just a girl with an iPhone!

Eat up. This za usually disappears in less than 12 hours in our household. 

Runner Speak

If you've ever talked to a runner about running or listened to two runners talking about running, you've probably noticed that runners care about this topic about a thousand times more than anyone. Normal people only want to hear about someone else's workout if they either fell off a treadmill or literally crapped their pants during exercise. (I've witnessed both scenarios, and both are a striking combination of hilarious and pitiful.) Runners are not this way. Ask a runner how their run was, and "good" is not the answer you will get. You will also get a story.

Most runners, especially those who run distances of 1 mile or greater, can probably recount every step of any running journey they've been on...and they want to tell you all about it. They will have it be known how many miles they ran, what their splits were during each one and if any of these were "negative splits," if any muscles started cramping and how that's never happened before, how heavy their legs felt, precisely when they "hit the wall," if any chafing occurred and which body parts it affected, if they had to pee or poop and where they went to take care of that business, what the weather was like and how it changed over the course of the run, if there were any incidents with traffic or crosswalks, and significant events involving an insect that was swallowed, inhaled, or collided with an eye.

I will spare you of most of those graphic details and just give you the high points of today's run.

I don't have any fancy running gear, like a device that calculates your distance, pace, heart rate, and reads your innermost thoughts. But I do have the internet and a stopwatch, so I used those to configure all my running what-nots.

The route

The final time (51:11)

Fancy internet pace calculator (8:27 average pace)

As promised, the high points:

• It was hot and muggy. In the 80's. 
• One armadillo spotted. Possibly one of the least intelligent creatures on earth.
• One bug nearly took out my left eye, but I made a quick recovery.
• There are lots of other bugs out there on a woodsy run. And no matter how many bees you punch in the face or flies you tell to f-off, there will always be more. 
• This was a hard run. I know I'm no speed demon, but I felt tired. There was no woo-hoo, I'm a fitness/running hero! at the end of it. I was gassed. But I'm having this to make myself feel better...

There's actually Oreo ice cream under that mountain of whipped cream.

...and I'm going to sleep like a corpse tonight. I can't wait. 

Pizza Stone

Using a pizza stone has radically changed my life. Okay, maybe not my life, but it has improved my pizzas. If you don't have one, go get one. Or two. I know what you're thinking...I don't need a pizza stone, I just put the pizza in the oven and it's just fine. Pizza stone, what a waste! Or maybe you're thinking, wtf is a pizza stone?

Well friends, a pizza stone is an object that weighs about 10 pounds and cooks your pizza to perfection. It works best with homemade pizza crust, but it will also spiff up frozen pizzas, if you're into that sort of thing. You can get these form just about any kitchen supply store as well as Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Macy's, or other similar stores. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes and it's important to care for the thing properly when you have it (like don't wash it with soap or you food will taste like soap).

This is my own personal pizza stone.

Ugly little bastard, isn't he?


Well it's been used about once a week for the past 10 months or so. Dough, sauce, cheese, and other toppings have weathered its surface, but subsequent pizzas still come out like they were made in a brick oven in Italy.

Here are some other tips for use:

• Put it in the oven. Turn the temperature to 500 degrees and heat that stone all the way. Yes, 500 degrees. That's just about as hot as these things can handle, but once a pizza is on it, it will cook perfectly in about 10 minutes. 
• You may have noted, this bitch will be hot. So be prepared. When you open a 500 degree oven you will be blasted with hot air like you're inside a wood-burning furnace, so stand back. If you touch that stone with bare fingers you will feel like you've been burned by the fire of a thousand suns. I use a handy silicone mitt to keep my hands safe and baby soft. I'd highly recommend you do the same.
• This bitch is also heavy. Like I said before, about 10 pounds. Add a pizza and all it's dressings on top of that and you're about to blast your biceps. Don't be afraid to ask a handy husband kitchen assistant for some help if you need it. 
• When your pizza is done, you will be tempted to pick at it, break a piece off, or even shove most of it into your cake hole immediately. You must resist. It's 500 degrees and you will burn your face off if you touch it. Wait at least 10 minutes. Clean up the mess you made from cooking. Go take a walk. Or a shower. Write your mom a letter. Pay some bills. It will still be hot. 
• You can slice the pizza up right on the stone, or you can transfer it to a large cutting board and slice it up there. 
• Let it cool completely before attempting to clean it. Most of the time cleaning is a very small job. It may only require you to scrape off a few bits of charred cheese. But if you're a real sow then you may have to use your sink and a scrub brush. But don't use soap. Just run some hot water over it, scrub, and let it air dry. 

4321-Burn

I recently taught a fitness class called "4321-Burn." Toughest. Class. Ever. The good news? It's only a 20-minute workout (maybe 25 with a warm-up and cool down) and it will remind you that you got a great workout for the next week or so. Yes, you will be sore. But in the 8 or so years I've been teaching fitness classes this has been one of my favorites to teach.

So here's how it works: 4 minutes of high-intesnity cardio, 3 minutes of strength/resistance exercises, 2 minutes of core exercises, 1 minute of stretching. Repeat twice. No breaks in between, except for that 1 minute of stretching. The 4 minute segment is broken down into 30-second intervals. After all, I don't expect anyone to maintain 4 minutes of high-intesnity cardio with no breaks. It should be that tough - that you need a little break in there.

Before class I will always plan out and write down what the workout will be. This was a great one for several reasons:
1) It makes you sore from head to toe.
2) I used it on more than one occasion.
3) There is dried sweat all over the page I wrote it on, which means I was sweating like a whore in church while doing it. Just imagine how the participants were feeling those days!

For this workout, I suggest you set a timer to go off at 1-minute intervals. You can get a great free one from the Apple App Store called "Interval Timer." Sorry about the tricky name, you'll just have to try and remember it.

Anyway, here we go:

For this workout, you'll need a pair of weights (5-8 lbs), a mat, and it would probably be nice to have a little towel to wipe the sweat out of your eyes. If not, that's okay too. You won't drown.

Warm-up (about 3 minutes)
Jog or jog in place
Walking lunges
Straight leg kicks while walking forward

4 minutes of cardio
30 seconds high-intensity: 10-count mountain climbers followed by 1 push up
30 seconds recovery: jog in place
30 seconds high-intensity: 10-count mountain climbers followed by 1 push up
30 seconds recovery: jog in place
30 seconds high-intensity: squat jumps (tag the floor at the bottom, reach hands up on the jump)
30 seconds recovery: jumping jacks
30 seconds high-intensity: squat jumps (tag the floor at the bottom, reach hands up on the jump)
30 seconds recovery: jumping jacks

3 minutes of strength/resistance
1 minute: reverse lunges, overhead press with the weights while going into lunge position (should look somewhat like move 4 from this Women's Health workout)
1 minute: push-ups, modify if needed
1 minute: plank row, alternating the side you lift each time

2 minutes of core
1 minute: oblique v-crunches
1 minute: toe touches

1 minute of stretching
Focus on chest, abs, and triceps

4 minutes of cardio
30 seconds high-intensity: speed-skater jumps
30 seconds recovery: jumping jacks
30 seconds high-intensity: speed-skater jumps
30 seconds recovery: jumping jacks
30 seconds high-intensity: burpees
30 seconds recovery: jog in place
30 seconds high-intensity: burpees
30 seconds recovery: jog in place

3 minutes of strength/resistance
1 minute: regular squats, hold one weight in front of you with straight arms, arms parallel to the floor
1 minute: bicep curls (do variations - front lifts and side lifts)
1 minute: forward lunge + oblique twist, alternate sides for each rep

2 minutes of core
1 minute: plank with "windshield wiper" toe taps, alternating sides
1 minute: flutter kicks

1 minute of stretching
Focus on arms, abs, and legs

For a cool down you can jog or walk. Continue to stretch all muscle groups, and drink plenty of water. Don't you just feel great now?