Chicken and Artichoke Pizza with Capers and a Stuffed Crust

This has been my first and final attempt at a home-crafted "stuffed crust." It was not even my intention to make it that way, but I had lots of extra dough on hand as well as a deli drawer filled with countless cheeses. So I thought, "how hard can it be?" For me, it worked about as well as trying to write an essay with a pen that just ran out of ink.

Hence, this simultaneously became, "The Ugliest Pizza Ever." I was thinking of making that the title of this post, but opted not to so you can just see for yourself.

Be real. It looks delightfully tasty. You can be nice and say that the crust and general shape of it are "not that bad." Or you can be real and just admit that this is the Quasimodo of all pizzas. Either way, the whole thing got eaten.

Before I get to the ingredients and pizza assembly process, let me just brief you on what not to do when making a stuffed crust. I would provide "how-to" tips and tricks all about making a fantastic stuffed crust, but I'm not aware of any such information.

First, I made a ring of dough by piecing the leftovers together, Frankenstein-style. Then I topped it with havarti and mozzarella cheeses, folded it over to enclose the cheese, and pressed the edges with a fork to seal the deal.

Next, I attached the round of dough I had cut out for the original pizza to the cheese-filled ring.  Using more dough bits, I covered and reinforced any thin sections of dough so it would be as sturdy as possible for the transfer to the awaiting pizza stone.

Well then came the collapse. Right there in my kitchen, on top of a 500 degree pizza stone. I intended to quickly peel the stuffed-crust dough from the countertop and gingerly transfer it to the stone for a quick pre-bake. I may as well have hired the Hulk, removed his opposable thumbs, put a blindfold on him and asked him to do the job for me. It was that bad. Between expletive versions of, "Crap, crap, freaking crap!," trying to rescue my dough from a miserable burning death by pizza stone, and contemplating scrapping the whole project, I did not manage to get a snapshot of the whole ordeal.

I carried on anyway, reassuring myself that no one other than my husband and myself would see this mutilated za. It would be our little secret. I wasn't even going to blog about it! But I guess I got over my shame, or something like that.

Halfway into  putting together a pizza that could be mistaken for a salad and sweating blood in an attempt to open the jars of artichokes and capers, I received a text from my husband. "On my way home, Chaos is coming over for dinner." Crap, crap, freaking crap! I usually pride myself on my tasty, beautiful pizza creations. Now his friend is going to know the truth and he's going to tell everybody and no one will eat pizza from me again!

Okay, it didn't end up that way. The pizza was actually really good even though we had to eat it with forks and knives. And from the camera angles I used, you can pretty much tell it's a pizza!

Ingredients (for the pizza toppings, not for a stuffed crust too):

• 1 or 1-1/2 cups pizza sauce
• Roughly 8oz. marinated artichoke hearts
• Roughly 1/4 cup capers
• 1 chicken breast, cooked and shredded into small pieces
• About 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Instructions:

• Prepare your pizza dough and set it aside. God be with you if you want to attempt a stuffed crust because I'm not about to offer any help on that.
• Place a pizza stone into the oven and turn the temperature to 500 degrees.
• When the stone is hot, remove it from the oven and place the prepared dough on top of it. You can do a quick pre-bake (just 3 or 4 minutes) which will give you a slightly crispier crust, or you can just go ahead and start with the toppings.
• First, spread the sauce on top of the dough, working it all the way to the edges. 
• Sprinkle your artichokes and chicken on next, followed by the shredded cheese, and last, the capers. Capers are rather salty, so only put as many on there as you can handle of their salt level.
• Bake the whole thing until the cheese is melted and the edges of the crust turn golden-brown. If you've pre-baked you will do your final bake for about 5-7 minutes. If not, it will take a bit longer (about 10-12 minutes). 
• Remove it from the oven and let it cool for a few minutes before cutting. 

The toppings on this gourmet delight are rather water-saturated, and in the 500 degree oven, they get super hot and stay super hot for a longer than average time. So just wait a minute.

Maybe Seth Meyers can more clearly relay that message to you:

Okay, 'nuff clowning around.

Go have yourself a fine-dining experience that includes this homemade, cheese-covered delicacy.