The Veggie

It is 2014, and I am a red-blooded, meat-loving American girl. So Fridays during Lent (the day we're supposed to abstain from meat) are a little bit tricky. Thank goodness, pizza makes those Fridays a bit easier.

Enter: the veggie za.

This was the last pizza of Lent in 2014, and although some sausage or bacon would have made it even more delightful, it was still a stand-alone excellent pie. And with no meat in the picture, the prep is super simple.

Above the crust:

• About 1 cup pizza sauce 
• 1 cup spinach, chopped
• 1 roma tomato, sliced
• 1/2 onion, sliced and sautéed 
• 1/2 red bell pepper, sliced and sautéed
• About 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Making it:

• Place a pizza stone into a cold oven and turn the temperature to 500.
• Slice and chop all ingredients as necessary.
• Place the sliced tomatoes on one or two layers of paper towel to absorb some of the moisture out of them. Believe me, this helps keep your pizza from getting heavy, wet, and soggy. 

• Heat a skillet with 1-2 tablespoons of oil, and sauté the sliced onion and bell pepper for about 5 minutes, until soft.

• When the oven has reached 500 and the pizza stone is hot, carefully remove it from the oven so you can begin to assemble the za on top of it. I know, I know...some fancy people use a pizza paddle and can swiftly transfer the beautifully arranged za from paddle to oven in one fell swoop. Call me primitive, but in Gloria's kitchen, that's not how business is done. 
• Anyway, place your prepared pizza dough for the crust on top of the stone. Pop it back in the oven for about 2 minutes now if you want a crispier crust. If you prefer a chewier crust then just continue with the rest of the toppings immediately. 
• Start with the sauce, spreading it evenly all around the pizza. 
• Add the spinach next. Putting it on the bottom "layer" will keep it from getting burned and dried out in the oven. I've heard of kale chips, but I don't think crispy spinach is a thing yet. 
• Add on the tomatoes, onions, and bell peppers next. Top it with the cheese. If you're sad about a pizza that has no meat on it, dry your tears and add more cheese. 
• Back into the oven! Keep an eye on it, but it should take 7-10 minutes to cook this one. You'll notice when the crust is golden brown and the cheese is all melted. That's your cue to take it out of the oven.

Slice it! Serve it! Add some red pepper flakes or balsamic vinegar if you're feeling jazzy! Such fun.

Fat-Frying Gym Workout

Not-so-newsowrthy: IT'S SPRING!

And you have come to me for some toning workouts. Whether or not it's swimsuit, beach, and pool weather for you, it will be before you know it. Or at the very least, you're bound to find your beach at least once this season.

So this is a gym workout. I know I've said it before, "gyms = germs" but we're going to move past that for an hour or so (the workout shouldn't take more than that), and just sanitize yourself when you're done.

What you're going to need:

• An elliptical
• A medicine ball (between 4-10 lbs)
• A mat for ab exercises
• A treadmill

Let's get to it!

The Warm-up Segment:

10-12 minutes on the elliptical

• Really we could say this is an extended warm-up. Start as slow as you need, and gradually get your heart rate up during this intro to the workout (around 130-140 beats per minute). If your machine doesn't have a heart rate monitor, then just go by your rate of perceived exertion (RPE), which I look at on a scale of 1 to 10. Your warm-up should be around a 6 or 7. For a better idea of this "scale," you can think of this:
• 1 RPE = lounging around, pressing buttons on the remote
• 10 RPE = sprint like all hell has broken loose and you're being chased by a bear
• What I did for my warm-up was like a mini-interval workout, repeated twice:
• 3 minutes moderate pace
• 2 minutes hard
• 1 minute recover (easy), and switch direction of pedaling

The Body Toning Segment: 

• Medicine ball push-ups:
• Get into the push-up position and place a medicine ball under one hand and leave the other hand on the floor as usual.
• Do 3 push-ups with the ball under that hand.
• Roll the ball over to the other hand and do 3 more push-ups.
• Repeat this pattern until you have done 12 push-ups total (6 on each side).
• You will look something like this:

• Bicycle crunches:
• Lie on your back with your feet off the ground and knees bent at a 90 degree angle. Make sure there is a wide open space between your chin and your neck, and your eyes are focused on the ceiling. Gently place your hands behind your head, keeping your elbows pointed out to either side. 
• Simultaneously lift your right shoulder blade off the ground, turn and twist your upper body to the left, turn your right elbow to the left as your upper body twists, and straighten your right leg as you extend it to the ground without letting any part of your leg actually come in contact with the floor. 
• Return to the starting position and repeat on the other side. Do these at a relatively slow pace - it's easy to let your form get sloppy on bicycles. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you let your knees come in over your chest. The further your legs are from your body, the more this exercise will engage your core. 
• You should look something like this:

• Squats holding the medicine ball:
• Get into the basic squat position: toes pointing forward, feet slightly wider than shoulder width apart, back straight, and eyes looking forward. 
• With a medicine ball (or dumbbell or weight plate) in your hands, hold it in front of you like this as you perform your squat:

• Women's Health calls this a braced squat because you are bracing yourself, contracting your abs, and maintaining good posture the entire time. 
• Do 10 reps. 

• Plank with pendulum taps:
• Start in basic plank position.

• Holding your core tight and your upper body steady, lift your right foot up and inch, then move your leg out laterally, tap your toe to the floor gently, then return to the starting position and repeat on the other side. 
• Repeat for the first 20 seconds of the exercise, moving at a moderate tempo.
• Hold the last 40 seconds of the plank without moving. 

• Lunge jumps holding the medicine ball:
• Holding a medicine ball straight overhead with both hands, get into a lunge position.
• Make sure there is plenty of distance between your feet and you have a stable base. You may want to take each foot an extra inch or so out to either side to make sure your base is stable.
• Quickly sink down into your lunge, do a powerful jump, switch the position of your legs, and land with your feet again in a stable position.
• Your exercise should resemble this, except you will have that medicine ball overhead in your hands the whole time:

You're definitely warm now, if you in fact did do that 3 times. I was sweating halfway through!

If you're a beginner, you may feel better doing those 5 workouts only twice through. If you're more advanced, try for 4 or 5 rounds. 

So moving on to...

The Sprinting Segment:

Repeat that 10 times.

That's right...10 sprints, 10 recovery periods. Personally I prefer to end on a sprint, but if you'd rather start with one and end on a recovery interval, then by all means - do what you gotta do to get it done!

I'm not a fan of workouts that tell you the exact mph you should be moving at during a treadmill workout. We're all at different levels, and while 6mph is torturous for some, it's just not going to cut it as a decent workout for others. 

• Your "easy" pace should be strong but sustainable. Maybe just a hair faster than what you would do for a warm-up. RPE should be around 6. 
• Your "hard" pace should be one that you would not be able to sustain for the whole workout. You should be gassed and needing to catch your breath by the end of each 1-minute interval. RPE should be 9 or 10. 

You may have to feel it out for the first few rounds of running before you find your stride. Don't be afraid to speed it up a bit faster than you think is right. You just may surprise yourself and get through it! And remember, it should be hard during the sprints...that's what the recovery segments are for. 

Have yourself a little cool-down (RPE = 2 or 3) when you're done (3-5 minutes jogging slow or walking on the treadmill), and take a few minutes to stretch, specifically focusing on your legs and glutes. 

Happy spring!

3-Meat Pizza with a Seasoned Crust

I used to be a vegetarian. Not a full-on "meats are evil" gal (I still ate fish and eggs), but I started doing the veggie thing and decided to continue because at the time I just didn't miss meats that much.

That was five years ago. Hardly a day has gone by since then that I have been meat-free. Now I revel in the delight of crispy, rich bacon with breakfast, perfectly tender chicken parmesan, and even the occasional juicy cheeseburger.

Don't get me wrong, I've heard all the meat-haters out there get on their soapboxes and disparage animal products saying things like, "Meat gives you cancer!" or "Too much protein is bad for you!" or "Red meat is the worst thing for you!" And if they can't make those claims then they just start spewing off things like "Hormones!", "Antibiotics!", "MSG!", "Processed!" all while trying to conjure up images from The Jungle in your impressionable brain.

All things in moderation, my friends. All things in moderation.

Sooo...pizza. Shall we?

Lately, before the pizza making on pizza night begins, I've been hearing the husband chirp into my ear, "Can you make it with a garlic crust?" And the answer is inevitably, "Of course, darling!"

Really, it is. Because all it takes to turn a crust from "plain" to "gourmet garlic" is to add about a tablespoon of garlic powder to the dough while it's mixing.

But for this za, I wanted something more from the crust. I added the standard 1 tablespoon of garlic powder, but I also included 1 tablespoon of onion powder and 1 tablespoon of oregano. And if I am remembering this correctly, "I think you've perfected the crust" is a direct quote from the spouse during the pizza eating. Score.

Seasoned dough, waiting and rising

Ingredients:

• Prepared or homemade pizza dough for the crust
• About 1 cup pizza sauce
• 1 cup shredded chicken breast meat
• 9-10 large deli pepperonis
• 5 pieces bacon, cooked and crumbled
• About 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

I seasoned up the chicken meat with a dash of chili powder and a sprinkle of crushed red pepper flakes. The pepperoni may lend enough spiciness for you. But not for me. I like it nice n' spicy!

Put it all together:

• First, place your pizza stone into a cold oven. I cannot stress this enough. If you want to know why, here's the reason. If you're going to be using the oven for the meat preparation, just leave the stone in there for whatever temperature you use to cook your meats, then later you can increase the temp up to 500 without ever having to wait for the oven to cool or putting the stone into an oven that's already hot. It is such a sadness to have a pizza stone break. When it happened to me, more than just my stone broke. So did a little piece of my soul. 

So let's get started with those three meats: chicken, pepperoni, and bacon.

• I prepped the chicken in the crock pot earlier in the day. I've found this is definitely the easiest way to prepare a bunch of plain chicken that I'll later shred and season for various meals. All that's required for that cooking is to place your chicken breasts (mine come in packages of 3) into the crock with a splash of olive oil plus a sprinkle of salt and pepper. Put the temp on low and let things simmer in there until the meat is no longer pink. My crock pot gets Africa-hot, so it only takes me about 3 hours on low to cook up that sort of batch. 
• The pepperoni is from the deli counter in the grocery store. Ask your delicatessen for about 9 or 10 thin slices of pepperoni. I used to order everything in pounds or ounces, but as it turns out, the people working behind the meat counter actually prefer counting slices than estimating the weight of your meats and cheeses. It didn't take me long to stop and think, "Oh, that does seem like it would be easier." 
• Bacon cooks so easily in the oven. Turn the oven to 375, line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil, and place the bacon onto the sheet without overlapping any pieces. Place that in the oven until the bacon is crispy, about 10-15 minutes. When the bacon is done, blot the excess grease with paper towels, then crumble or chop it into bits and pieces. 

It's all just toppings from here!

• You did set your oven for 500 degrees a while back and put the pizza stone in it, right? Phew. Good. Now grab that stone with your hand in an oven mitt, place it on a stable work surface, and put the crust for your dough on top of the hot stone. Put it back in the oven (no toppings yet!) for 2-3 minutes. After that time, remove the half-cooked dough-topped stone form the oven and place it back on your work surface. (That's the secret to my so-called "perfected crust" recipe.)
• Spread the sauce on the dough as evenly as possible. Sprinkle on the shredded chicken. Evenly place the pepperonis on top of that. Sprinkle on the mozzarella cheese followed by the bacon bits. Add more cheese to any spots you may have missed.
• Put the whole shebang back in the oven and set a timer for about 6 or 7 minutes. Really, just stay nearby so you can keep an eye on it and take it out when the cheese is melted and the edges of the crust are golden brown. 

Pizza out to cool on the cooling rack. This definitely helps with crust crispiness.

If you don't have the patience or shoulder strength to keep up with the calisthenics of removing and replacing and removing the weighty pizza stone from the oven, then you can do things the lazy way. Top your dough once with all the toppings in the order described and cook it in the 500 degree oven for 10 minutes. Still works, still yummy, but perfect? I'll let you be the judge of that.

Dinner is served!

It feels so right to eat this meat-covered pizza. 

Bike & Hike

The weather in the desert has been hit or miss as we transition into spring, but we were lucky to have a beautiful clear day that was almost 80 degrees on Saturday!

So I suggested to the husband that we take the bikes for a spin, he suggested adding on a short hike, and I laced up my new kicks and we headed out.

And a note on said kicks...awesome! They're New Balance 750 V2 running shoes, and my first pair of New Balance shoes in a long time. (Normally I'm more of a Mizuno or Nike sorta gal.) They are much lighter and more flexible than the running shoes I traditionally buy, so I'm hoping that doesn't mean I wear them out completely in a month's time. But another deciding factor for the New Balance purchase was the incredible price on them which I found on joesnewbalanceoutlet.com. I used to be uneasy about ordering shoes online, but after doing it a dozen times or so I've become confident with it. I know how my feet are, I know what my stride is like, I know how certain brands fit, and I always check the return policies - just in case. These shoes checked out and have been serving me pretty great!

We biked around our neighborhood, along some paved paths, and then onto a dirt trail, finally finishing at the base of the mountain. It was a strong ride, but at the same time, not too exhausting. After all, our main goal was to have some fun. My husband is a stronger biker than me, but he scaled back from his regular Lance pace and we rode together the whole time. 

Post-bike, pre-hike

Now the mountain we hiked may not be considered a true "mountain" by some people's standards. The one in the background of the above picture - that is a true mountain. A mountain with a name. Someday we'll go claim our way to the top of it, but since it's on an Army base we can't just go over there any ol' weekend and start walking. Apparently they have rules about these sorts of things. 

But I digress. 

There was pile of rocks fashioned into a throne at the top of the hill we climbed!

So we each took our due turn seated in the rock chair, playing king of the castle, spewing off "Go do this, go do this!" lines full-on Borat style. It was a splendid part of our adventure. 

The good thing about hiking is that going back down to the starting point is so much easier than the way up. I may be in shape, but I'm still huffing and puffing (and taking the occasional break to catch my breath enjoy the view) when I have to go vertical the entire time. (But really, check out that view in the very first picture on this post!) 

So the hike down was easy-ish, we biked the short way home, but still spent almost 3 hours out being active. Overall I was glad to have called this my workout for the day. 

And I was even more delighted to have some to-die-for delicious pizza for dinner afterwards too!

More on that later!

Chicken and Artichoke Pizza with Capers and a Stuffed Crust

This has been my first and final attempt at a home-crafted "stuffed crust." It was not even my intention to make it that way, but I had lots of extra dough on hand as well as a deli drawer filled with countless cheeses. So I thought, "how hard can it be?" For me, it worked about as well as trying to write an essay with a pen that just ran out of ink.

Hence, this simultaneously became, "The Ugliest Pizza Ever." I was thinking of making that the title of this post, but opted not to so you can just see for yourself.

Be real. It looks delightfully tasty. You can be nice and say that the crust and general shape of it are "not that bad." Or you can be real and just admit that this is the Quasimodo of all pizzas. Either way, the whole thing got eaten.

Before I get to the ingredients and pizza assembly process, let me just brief you on what not to do when making a stuffed crust. I would provide "how-to" tips and tricks all about making a fantastic stuffed crust, but I'm not aware of any such information.

First, I made a ring of dough by piecing the leftovers together, Frankenstein-style. Then I topped it with havarti and mozzarella cheeses, folded it over to enclose the cheese, and pressed the edges with a fork to seal the deal.

Next, I attached the round of dough I had cut out for the original pizza to the cheese-filled ring.  Using more dough bits, I covered and reinforced any thin sections of dough so it would be as sturdy as possible for the transfer to the awaiting pizza stone.

Well then came the collapse. Right there in my kitchen, on top of a 500 degree pizza stone. I intended to quickly peel the stuffed-crust dough from the countertop and gingerly transfer it to the stone for a quick pre-bake. I may as well have hired the Hulk, removed his opposable thumbs, put a blindfold on him and asked him to do the job for me. It was that bad. Between expletive versions of, "Crap, crap, freaking crap!," trying to rescue my dough from a miserable burning death by pizza stone, and contemplating scrapping the whole project, I did not manage to get a snapshot of the whole ordeal.

I carried on anyway, reassuring myself that no one other than my husband and myself would see this mutilated za. It would be our little secret. I wasn't even going to blog about it! But I guess I got over my shame, or something like that.

Halfway into  putting together a pizza that could be mistaken for a salad and sweating blood in an attempt to open the jars of artichokes and capers, I received a text from my husband. "On my way home, Chaos is coming over for dinner." Crap, crap, freaking crap! I usually pride myself on my tasty, beautiful pizza creations. Now his friend is going to know the truth and he's going to tell everybody and no one will eat pizza from me again!

Okay, it didn't end up that way. The pizza was actually really good even though we had to eat it with forks and knives. And from the camera angles I used, you can pretty much tell it's a pizza!

Ingredients (for the pizza toppings, not for a stuffed crust too):

• 1 or 1-1/2 cups pizza sauce
• Roughly 8oz. marinated artichoke hearts
• Roughly 1/4 cup capers
• 1 chicken breast, cooked and shredded into small pieces
• About 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Instructions:

• Prepare your pizza dough and set it aside. God be with you if you want to attempt a stuffed crust because I'm not about to offer any help on that.
• Place a pizza stone into the oven and turn the temperature to 500 degrees.
• When the stone is hot, remove it from the oven and place the prepared dough on top of it. You can do a quick pre-bake (just 3 or 4 minutes) which will give you a slightly crispier crust, or you can just go ahead and start with the toppings.
• First, spread the sauce on top of the dough, working it all the way to the edges. 
• Sprinkle your artichokes and chicken on next, followed by the shredded cheese, and last, the capers. Capers are rather salty, so only put as many on there as you can handle of their salt level.
• Bake the whole thing until the cheese is melted and the edges of the crust turn golden-brown. If you've pre-baked you will do your final bake for about 5-7 minutes. If not, it will take a bit longer (about 10-12 minutes). 
• Remove it from the oven and let it cool for a few minutes before cutting. 

The toppings on this gourmet delight are rather water-saturated, and in the 500 degree oven, they get super hot and stay super hot for a longer than average time. So just wait a minute.

Maybe Seth Meyers can more clearly relay that message to you:

Okay, 'nuff clowning around.

Go have yourself a fine-dining experience that includes this homemade, cheese-covered delicacy.

New Running Buddy

It's a dog! Well, she's a puppy at the moment, and also, not a runner (yet). My husband and I adopted Sadie, a little pit mix, just a few weeks ago. But it didn't take long for me to realize that I want this "puppy stage" to end as quickly as possible and just have a normal, functioning dog that doesn't act a fool when she sees a rock on the ground.

I know it will be a while before this can happen, much less, before she can run for more than 30 seconds before discovering another rock. But I decided to take her down to the community track last week and begin some conditioning exercises anyway.

Just a little running by my side on the straightaways is all I had in mind.

But apparently, Sadie had other motives. Either that or the worst ADD I have ever seen. In short, she would run when she thought she was chasing someone. Those were full-on sprints. There was a lot of, "Come on, Sadie...just run a little more until we get to the finish line!" and I would proceed to nearly drag her against her barely-moving little paws for the final 5 meters to the end of the straightaway. I think we did 3 laps total (mostly walking), then headed home.

I don't know if this counted as a "workout" for either of us (maybe more so the dog than me, just because it tired her out for a good long nap later on), but at some point in the future there will be human/dog workouts going on.

Doggie-selfie fail

All tuckered out from too much shoe-chewing

I don't want to set myself up for total failure though. If by some stroke of fate Sadie does not want to be my running buddy (highly unlikely), I guess I cannot force her. But I do know that she loves the outdoors, and along with me, my husband, and my husband's sister Jenny, Sadie completed a long day of hiking in LA last weekend.

No running buddy? No problem. My hiking buddy you shall be! 

Oh no!

Ladies and gents, this is not the end of an era.

Yes, that is my beloved pizza stone broken in 2 pieces.

Also, I believe it is the result of improper heating. I know, I know. For every single recipe I post I say, "put the pizza stone into a cold oven and then turn it on." I sorta broke my own rule.

Trying to be a multi-tasker, I thought I could make my Friday night pizza and start prepping some cookies for Super Bowl Sunday at the same time. The cookies needed to cook at 350, the pizza at 500. So I thought, "what's the harm in making my cookies, and then putting the stone in a 350 oven, and then turning it to 500?" Well, if you didn't notice the picture above, that is the harm.

I could blame this mishap on overuse of the stone. Or maybe I cleaned it improperly once or twice. Or maybe it was a piece of junk all along. Regardless, this has been a devastating loss for my pizza creations. This pizza stone has retired to my local trash can and it is time to hunt for a new one!

On a happy note, I did manage to completely cook a delightful pizza on the stone before tossing it out. While the oven was somewhere between 350 and 500 I heard a low "pop" from the oven and wondered, "What the heck is going on in there?" only to find two pieces of stone where there once was one. With no other alternative to cook the awaiting pizza, I simply slid the two broken pieces together and forced it to work for just one last za. And praise Jesus it worked because it was just all too delicious a pizza to have missed out on. That pizza's story will be told in the near future as well!

Running Lately + Yoga

Do you ever feel like you just ran like the wind, finished up like a total champ, but then come to find out that you really didn't go much faster than your normal pace? I had one of those runs. Felt like the world played a dirty trick on me!

Here on my latest long run I completed a healthy 4.87 miles in just over 41 minutes. I made an extra effort to get up the hills and took advantage of the flat and downhill sections. I could have sworn that my pace was closer to an 8:15 mile.

Nope. 8:27 was it. Lately my pace has been right there around an 8:30 mile for most runs, so I wasn't far off from the usual. Now I'm not a regular racer, but I do want to work on getting faster. And although I have a strong, fit body I really have to work at it if I want to be fast. And that work is hard.

From what I remember from my cross country and track days, the way to get faster is to practice running fast. Seems simple enough, but that's definitely an "easier said than done" concept. Then I remember back to the 1-mile fast-as-you-can-go repeats with only about a minute of rest in between, and the 400-meter sprints where another repeat would start every 2 minutes, and the ladder workouts. Those workouts hurt a lot, but they worked. More on speed work later. 

On a different note, yoga and flexibility. I've been slacking off in the stretching department lately and I can really feel the effects of it. Having tight muscles, a sore back, and rickety-feeling hips is no fun. My plan is to start doing more yoga on a somewhat regular schedule so I can increase my flexibility, and also, it's good for the soul, ya know. 

But there's one small problem. Along with spiders, car accidents, and breaking a tooth, yoga is one of my greatest fears in life. I have a hard time approaching it as exercise because it is so different from my usual cardio workouts. To me, exercise means high-intesnity, high-energy, sweat-inducing challenges combined with loud music. Yes, yoga can be those things (but the music is quieter), and I always appreciate the opportunity to go barefoot. But the thought of incorporating balance, flexibility, and mental focus all into one workout session is so highly daunting to me that I usually just go for a run so I don't have to think about it. 

Well the other day I had some time to spare and hopped onto DoYogaWithMe to finally face a yoga class. I found a 45 minute class called "Power Yoga with Twists" and completed the first 20 minutes of it. I've completed full yoga classes before, but perhaps I've been out of practice for too long now, thus explaining my completion of less than half of this recent session.

Then after perusing the Women's Health website for mere minutes this morning, I stumbled across this yoga article which I think addressed my yoga issues perfectly right now: Yoga for Everyday Athletes. 

The article addresses how regular exercisers can do themselves harm through the sports or workouts in which they participate:

Whether you're a new runner, total gym rat, or summer-only tennis fanatic, a yoga instructor can tell. That's because workouts that emphasize running, lifting, and swinging movements leave the telltale signs of tight hamstrings, quads, and shoulders—the trifecta of treacherous spots in fit females.

Hence, the WH yoga workout suggested sequences 6 different moves that help stretch, loosen, and balance the muscles which can lead to stronger workouts in the future.

I think the universe directed me to this article intentionally.  

And although I prefer a traditional yoga class or a video to follow instead of pictures that I should observe and follow, I think I can incorporate these six moves into my fitness routine. Not to mention, I'm already familiar with half of them. 

Downward-Facing Dog

High Lunge

Twisted Lunge

Dolphin

Pigeon

Legs up the Wall

Click over the the full article for full instructions. Each move is explained along with the benefits it provides...as if you didn't already know that yoga can be beneficial. Now go have a happy time running and stretching!

Deluxe BBQ Chicken Pizza

When I made a barbecue chicken and pineapple pizza with sharp cheddar, I thought I really had something there. And at the time, I did. But then the world of Pinterest presented to me an even better version of something I thought couldn't be topped. And here it is…

It's still a BBQ chicken pizza with pineapple chunks, but so much more…red onions, bacon, and jalapeños.  I am still recovering from this delight and can't possibly fathom improving upon this pizza any further.

Also, I did a twice-baked crust to make it a bit crispier. Lately my crusts have had a little "mush" layer just beneath the toppings, and although it does not ruin the meal it certainly causes a distraction. To eliminate the mush layer, simply bake your crust for 3 to 4 minutes before putting the toppings on, then remove it from the oven, top it with all the good stuff, and bake it again until it's done. Just that one extra step is completely worth the work.

Toppings you'll need:

• About 1 cup pizza sauce
• 1/4 to 1/3 cup barbecue sauce, more or less depending on your preference
• 1 chicken breast, cooked and chopped into bite-sized pieces
• 1/2 red onion, sliced and cooked
• 2-3 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled into bits
• 1/2 can (about 1/2 cup) pineapple chunks
• Handful of jalapeños, to taste
• 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

If you don't have your chicken and onions all ready to go, cooking these is very simple.

• All I did for mine was slice the onion and chicken breast very thin, place the onions onto an oiled baking sheet, and place the chicken on top of the onions. That goes into the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. The only thing I would have done differently is use more red onions. I only used half of a medium red onion, but using the whole thing would have satisfied me even more. But that's purely a matter of taste - use the amount of onion that makes you happy.

• When the chicken is cooked, remove the baking sheet from the oven and chop everything that was on it into bite-sized pieces. Set it aside while you prepare the rest, or put it in the fridge if it's going to be more than a few minutes before you start the rest of the za making.

Let us now start with the real business we came here for: to make an epic pizza.

• Preheat the oven to 500, making sure your pizza stone is inside.
• Gather everything you plan to put on the pizza (cooked chicken and onions, crumbled bacon, drained pineapple chunks, sauces, and shredded cheeses). Once you have your dough ready, you need to work with the swiftness. 

• If you want to do the crispy crust thing like I did, make sure your dough is ready to go (prepped and cut just smaller then the pizza stone). When the oven reached 500, take the pizza stone out and put just the dough for the crust on it - no toppings just yet. (Or if you're really crafty, slide the dough right onto the stone without removing it from the oven at all. 
• Now you're going to have to keep an eye on it so it doesn't cook too much, but generally it should take no more than 4 minutes to crisp it up a little bit. 
• Remove the stone with the dough on top from the oven and get ready to place your toppings on it next. 

It may be a little bit lumpy or bubbly looking if you're doing this step, but don't worry, it will all be just fine. Generally, kneading and rolling out your dough gets rid of the air bubbles within it, but obviously I don't have that art down to perfection just yet. If your crust begins to look like this, simply press down the bubbly parts with a spatula (not your hand 'cause it's freakin' hot!), or pop them with a knife to deflate them a bit. 

• Working with your pizza stone on a stable surface, evenly spread your pizza sauce onto the crust.
• Spread (or squeeze from a bottle) about half of your barbecue sauce onto the crust next. If you like your barbecue sauce more than pizza sauce, you can adjust the ratios of those. But don't worry - you will be adding more barbecue sauce in the last step. 
• Sprinkle on all the rest of the toppings (onions, chicken, pineapples, jalapeños, and bacon). Make sure they are evenly distributed around the pizza. You may prefer more or less jalapeños depending on your tolerance of hot and spicy things. 
• Sprinkle on the cheeses last (you can mix them or just sprinkle on one after the other) and carefully place the whole thing back into the oven.
• Now if you did the pre-bake on your crust, you won't need it in the oven very long before it's done. Perhaps 5 or 6 minutes should do it. If you didn't pre-bake, then this will take about 10 minutes until it is complete. My best advice is to keep an eye on it and take it out when it's as done as you like it. (Golden edges on the crust and melted cheese on top can usually indicate a done pizza.)

Golden and melty and DONE!

• Remove the pizza from the oven and spread or squeeze the remainder of your barbecue sauce on top. Let it cool for a few minutes (the pineapple pieces get hot in a 500-degree oven and they stay hot the longest). 

Mmm. Get into ma belly.

So, so, so good. Typically I do add-ons to my slices…nothing unusual - maybe just some red pepper flakes or a side of sauce for dipping. But I can say with confidence that this pizza needed nothing! It was a stand-alone winner and a Friday night delight.